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Writer's pictureThuy-vy Nguyen

Calm Amidst the Chaos: How Personal Time Shapes a Mother's Day

Written by Becky Yarwood

Artwork by Kateryna Manko


Source: Nguyen, T. T., Konu, D., Tetteh, D., Tshimbalanga, P., Weissová, J., & Xiong, M. (Under review). “I got all sorts of solitude, but that solitude wasn’t mine”: A Mixed-Methods Approach to Understanding Aloneness during Becoming A Mother. Doi: https://doi.org/10.31219/osf.io/m67k2. 


How are mothers’ daily activities related to their mood and mental states? 

We followed forty-seven mothers for 7 days, collecting data on their daily mood, stress, boredom, and loneliness, as well as their daily activities. We found that:

  • Mothers with more pre-existing depressive symptoms generally felt less calm and relaxed with higher levels of daily stress. 

  • Beyond pre-existing psychological symptoms, on days when mothers had more personal time and spent more time with friends and family, and (interestingly, more time doing chores!), they reported more positive emotions. Days with fewer personal time tended to feel more irritated and tense. 

  • Days with more time spent at home, extracurricular activities, and work-related activities felt calmer and more relaxing, while days with more care responsibilities were not.


What does personal time mean to mothers?

The most popular activities for the mothers’ personal time included quality time with the baby, time for making or eating meals, watching TV, taking a walk, having a cup of tea, or self-maintenance activities such as taking a shower or a quick nap.

Furthermore, having time for oneself can contribute to rest and relaxation. For some mothers, personal time allowed them to reflect on their own experiences, motherhood, and work through challenges. This may give way to a personal transformation of fully embracing a new identity of being a mother.


Findings from this study, and our interviews with other 22 mothers, show the importance for mothers to have time to attend to their own personal needs, which can be just as important as time spent with family and friends. These findings call for more nuanced support structures that address the specific needs of new mothers to ensure they have access to opportunities for both social connections and meaningful personal time. 

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